Help Me Find My Wings
by RuneWolfe
Summary: Yuuri and the gang all go to spend Christmas with his family. but Yuuri has two problems: 1. he and wolfram have yet to tell the others that they are expecting a child 2.painful memories are sending on a trip down memory lane from hell
1. Chapter 1: Collecting Feathers

Help Me Find My Wings

By,

Rune Wolfe

Pairings: Yuuri/Wolfram

Disclaimer: I own none of Kyou Kara Maou

Note: This is an angst/fluff story with mature scenes, but doesn't really follow the story at all, its sort of a one-shot thing, I 'm not sure how far I'm going with this. So …yeah….enjoy. It's sort of a play on how Yuuri's mother always wanted her babies to have wings.

Chapter 1: Collecting Feathers

Yuuri held up his hand to defend his eyes from the glaring sun as they reached the street, smiling softly as he turned to watch Wolfram carefully climbing the last few stairs. Wolfram had to be careful, if he were to fall, he would not only get hurt, but he could lose the child he had been carrying for 2 months. Yuuri grabbed his husband's hand as he stepped onto the sidewalk beside him.

Finally out of the train station they began their trek to Yuuri's house, followed closely by Conrad, Ken, Gwendal, and Shori who had met them when they arrived from Kyoto.

It was Christmastime and they had all agreed to spend the holiday season with Yuuri's parents. Now 21, Yuuri didn't see them as often, so this would be his first time back in a year or so. His mother and father didn't even know about Wolfram's pregnancy yet.

Wolfram tightened his grip on Yuuri's fingers when he noticed how nervous he was. His husband had become oddly silent, trying to mull over how exactly to deliver the big news. Sure, it wouldn't be a problem for his parents, in fact his mother would be overjoyed; but he and Wolfram had not told Conrad and Gwendal yet either.

For the past month or so Ken had lobbed clues at Conrad and Gwendal about the baby, but so far Wolfram's elder brothers seemed clueless.

"It'll be alright, Yuuri," Wolfram murmured, exhausted from the trip.

But Yuuri could only smile and nod, avoiding Wolfram's sea-green eyes.

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Approximately 20 minutes later they were all seated in the Shibuya residence drinking tea and catching up on the gossip of both worlds. Yuuri found, as he got older, just sitting and talking became a much more fascinating pastime. Yet, he was still not quite old enough not to get fidgety.

"So, Yuu-chan, why were you in Kyoto again?" His mother was as cheerful as ever.

"We were sightseeing. We sort of caught bad weather though."

"Poor Yuu-chan. Neh, Wolfram, did you enjoy Kyoto?"

Wolfram had been sipping his tea quietly during the whole conversation, something within him felt off. Yet he smiled and nodded, "It was very nice."

Just then something 'dinged' from within the kitchen and Miko quickly skipped off to check on it. Wolfram returned to sipping his tea. What was it? Something felt different. Was he nervous? Yes, he thought, that must be it, I'm just nervous.

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It was 11:00 when Yuuri and Wolfram reached their hotel room. There had been no room at Yuuri's house, and besides it would have been difficult fitting him and Wolfram into his twin-sized bed.

Once unpacked and ready for bed, Wolfram lay back on the mattress sighing contentedly. Ever since their wedding three years ago he had been the happiest person alive. At the sight of his husband sprawled out on the cover Yuuri grinned, crawling quietly over to him.

Wolfram's eyes flickered open as Yuuri kissed his cheek. "Hennachoko," he muttered, sleep tugging at his eyes which quickly slipped closed again. Yuuri stifled a chuckle at this reaction.

"Wolfram…." But soon enough his thoughts began to drift, his eyes following Wolfram's flawless figure to the part of his stomach which was revealed. A sense of guilt stirred within Yuuri like it did every time he thought about the baby.

_I don't deserve to be this child's father,_ he scolded himself; _I'm a worthless liar. _Tears swelled up in his eyes, but he fiercely brushed them away and buried himself beneath the sheets.

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Yuuri twisted restlessly in his sleep, small beads of sweat rolling down his face. They were there in his head, monsters from the past reaching out to grasp him. Yet they were fuzzy and unfamiliar. Wolfram woke as the young king screamed out his name.

"Yuuri," Wolfram whispered, "what's wrong? What is it?" his gentle hands stroked Yuuri's cheeks tenderly, his emerald eyes heavy with concern. Shining obsidian orbs returned the gaze with apparent fear and need. Wolfram kissed his forehead softly, feeling Yuuri's chest heaving in and out as he leaned in closer. "Yuuri what's wrong?"

But Yuuri shook his head, still slightly disoriented, "I don't remember." In the darkness he flinched, he hated having to lie to Wolfram. He did remember, he remembered everything, and it was then that he realized there was still something he had to tell Wolfram.


	2. Chapter 2: The Ones Who Bound My Wings

Help Me Find My Wings

By,

Rune Wolfe

Disclaimer: I own none of Kyou Kara Maou. Please keep in mind that Yuuri is now 21 and he has been married to Wolfram for three years. I'm sorry but I have to cut this chapter into two because I don't have time to finish!

Chapter 2: The Ones Who Bound My Wings

Wolfram woke early the next morning to an empty bed. Sitting up uneasily he was greeted by a small note on the bedside table: "Went out for a walk, be back later." So that's what had been off, it was the way Yuuri was acting and Wolfram had a feeling this wasn't just about the baby anymore.

He should've expected this. Yuuri had been oddly upset about coming back to Tokyo, but Wolfram had thought he was just nervous about breaking the news to Conrad and Gwendal.

An uneasy feeling took over him. Was Yuuri having second thoughts? Did he no longer love Wolfram? Or was there someone else? No, Wolfram thought reassuringly, Yuuri's to kind to be unfaithful.

Just then the phone rang, the blonde queen hesitated before answering it, "Hello? Oh, Conrad….no, he's not here right now…..I'm fine….," Wolfram cursed under his breath, his voice was beginning to waver from his pain and his brother could sense it, "no, it's all right, I'm really fine…alright, see you then. Bye."

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Yuuri slumped onto the bench beside the old baseball field. He had a lot of thinking to do. _I shouldn't have come back here, _he thought. Why were all these memories coming back to haunt him now?

It had been 7 years ago, when he was 14, not long before he first arrived in Shin Makoku. The true reason he had quit baseball.

_The day had been like every other, heading back home after practice tired and sweaty. It was getting dark and Yuuri was later than usual so he decided to take a shortcut. _

_Everything had happened so fast, the men had come out of nowhere. All he could remember was their jeering and someone gripping his wrists tightly as they broke him cruelly. The next morning he had woken up naked in an alleyway. But that's all he had needed. He knew what they had done; the bruises on his body had said everything. _

_He had gone home, pretended like nothing had ever happened. When his mother asked him where he had been all night he merely said that he had gone to a friend's house, he never allowed the conversation to go any farther than that._

He had tried his best to force it to the back of his mind, to forget; and he had thought that he had finally conquered it. But it seemed now that he hadn't done that well of a job.

His body was tainted. That's why he was always so shy about it, it was hard enough making love to Wolfram without fearing rejection. Whenever someone looked at him on the street, it felt as if they knew, as if everybody knew and the just weren't saying anything.

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When Yuuri and Wolfram finally reached the restaurant for dinner, everyone else had already congregated at a table in the corner. "Sorry we're late," Wolfram murmured, guiding his husband to their seats, "we lost track of the time."

"Did you two get around to finishing your Christmas shopping?" Conrad asked, mentally searching for signs of unrest between them. He still wanted to know why Wolfram's voice had sounded so shaky over the phone.

But Wolfram smiled, nodding, "yes, we managed."

Yuuri laughed, recalling how amazed Wolfram had been when he learned what a credit card was. There were moments when his husband could be so innocently adorable and Yuuri was reminded of how there was no way he'd ever survive without him. "There were some difficulties though," he teased, nudging the blonde gently.

Then he turned to everyone else, "Well, two more days till Christmas." He raised his glass, and his friends all did the same, drowning out the sound of Yuuri's halfhearted "cheers."

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Wolfram straightened his back as he wiped sweat off of his forehead. He had been washing dishes for almost an hour. It was amazing how many dishes a large group could use with just dessert. It was then that he noticed a picture on the windowsill. From a baby Yuuri smiled happily, playing with what seemed to be a stuffed dinosaur while wearing paper wings on his back.

A grin grew on Wolfram's face; it was such a sweet image. He was so captivated by it he didn't notice when Miko entered the room. "I always knew Yuu-chan had wings," she sighed, glancing at the old photo over Wolfram's shoulder, "you just had to look carefully to see them."

One word seemed to stick out in that sentence: _'had.' _The blonde man turned to look at her questioningly. "He still has them," he murmured, the confusion obvious in his voice.

"Yes, but he doesn't fly anymore. He hasn't since he was 14, it was almost as if…his wings had disappeared."

Wolfram, stared at the little boy in the picture. There was something different, but just like Miko had said: you had to look closely to see it.

"Wolfram…, I've been meaning to ask you…. Or at least I was hoping, that maybe _you _could help Yuuri find his wings."


	3. Chapter 3: Where I Used To Fly

Help Me Find My Wings

By,

Rune Wolfe

Disclaimer: I own none of Kyou Kara Maou

Notes: Thank you for your reviews I honestly appreciate them very much! I'm sorry if this is a short chapter, but i wont have time to finish it for a while.

Chapter 3: Where I Used To Fly

Wolfram sat on the balcony of his hotel room which hung over crowded street. A disconnected manner he watched people bustle in and out of stores, arms laden with packages. Yet, he couldn't help but dwell on what Yuuri's mother had said.

"_His wings had disappeared."_

He didn't understand. How could they just disappear? Yuuri was his angel, his savior, what cruel being could have taken his wings? Wolfram rested his chin in the palm of his hand; whoever it was, he would have his revenge.

Just then the door clicked behind him and he could hear the soft padding of feet as Yuuri attempted to sneak up behind him. He hid his smile and closed his eyes, "don't even try it, wimp."

The response was a disappointed sigh, "how do you always know?"

"You aren't exactly subtle, hennachoko," Wolfram pointed out. He gently grasped Yuuri's hand as his husband sat down in the chair across the table.

Yuuri gave him his usual goofy grin and nodded, "I guess so."

Just then Wolfram's expression changed and his grip on Yuuri's fingers became more desperate. The boy king stared deep into those emerald eyes, confused. "Yuuri…make love to me."

"W-what? Here…Wolfram, what about the baby?"

"It'll be fine if we're careful," his husband pleaded.

"Wolfram, we can't! Not here. We're not in our own room…, it isn't right….," Yuuri began to ramble, searching for the right excuse. The truth was, he was afraid.

"You always say that, that it isn't right," Wolfram mumbled, his head falling, "I guess I can wait until after the baby is born."

Finally Yuuri gave in, he couldn't stand hurting him anymore. Gently he lifted his husband, carrying him across the room to their bed. They lay there for a moment, hands roaming one another. "You sure about this, Wolf?" He asked although he already knew the answer.

Wolfram ignored Yuuri's last minute concern and arched up against him, signaling his need and anticipation. It was then that Yuuri could feel his own need growing hard as it ground against his husband's hips. "Wolfram…!" The blonde smiled inwardly at how beautiful his named sounded when it escaped the king's lips.

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Come that evening they were lying in each others' arms, tired and sweaty. Wolfram had drifted into a light sleep, looking quite angelic as the light from the setting sun glinted off his golden hair. Yuuri smiled, a mix of exhaustion and content overtaking him as he pulled away and sat up. He could remember their first time, so innocent and beautiful.

It had taken Yuuri almost a week to fully comprehend the fact that he was no longer a virgin and it took the others almost a month to believe that he had given it to Wolfram willingly.

Just then it struck him. What was he thinking? He had never been a virgin in the first place. He had always been tainted, dirty, even before he came to Shin Makoku.

He stood from the bed, allowing the light to hit his bare body. What would Wolfram think if he knew that Yuuri had been taken by someone else?

"Yuuri…," the familiar voice was soft and slightly disoriented, "you're leaving?"

"Umm… no, I was just…, I need some water." There he went, lying again.

"Hennachoko….," Wolfram's voice trailed off as he drifted into sleep once again. Yuuri smiled, love could be such a beautiful thing.

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"Are we going to tell them yet? I Think Conrad is starting to get suspicious…," Wolfram whispered, tugging on Yuuri's arm. It was 6:00 am and Wolfram was rejuvenating on the couch from a bout of morning sickness.

"Are you sure they won't murder me on the spot?"

"You vulgar lout, its Conrad, you know he won't get angry." Yuuri laughed at his husband's response, Wolfram was right though. If anything, Conrad would be delighted that his godson and his little brother were finally starting a family.

"Conrad's not the one I'm afraid of," he pointed out as he got up to find the room service menu.

"What, Gwendal? He loves anything cute. Sure he maybe irritated now, but by the time the baby gets here we'll have to pry it away from him."

"Yeah, well, with him, I may not make it to when the baby comes around."

There was an odd silence. Wolfram fiddled with his fingers dazedly, he knew he had to talk to Yuuri about what was bothering him, but how was he going to go about it. Did he really want to know? What if Yuuri was leaving him? It was all so difficult. "Yuuri…,"

"Neh?"

Another moment of silence.

"Is there, something you aren't telling me?"


	4. Chapter 4: Fluttering Heartbeats

Help Me Find My Wings

By,

Rune Wolfe

Disclaimer: I own none of Kyou Kara Maou

Note: I'm sorry this chapter took so long, even though its so short. Thank you for your reviews, only one or two more chapters left in this story so thank you for reading, I how you've enjoyed it.

Chapter 4: Fluttering Heartbeat

Yuuri's heart seemed to jump into his throat. "Wh-what?"

Wolfram avoided his eyes, "you've been distant from me lately, when you talk, when we're walking….even in bed it feels like you're not there." His voice was soft, trying unsuccessfully to hide the hurt that had been gathering inside.

So Wolfram had noticed. Yuuri watched him apologetically. "Wolf…"

"Yuuri, do you not love me anymore?"

His husband immediately darted to his side, taking his hands and kissing the fervently. "No! Why would you think that? We have this baby, and we got married…," he searched desperately for more ways to convince him of his devotion.

"That doesn't mean that this is what your heart wants."

"That's not it, Wolf… it's not, I swear. It's just that, being here again…its bringing back bad memories." He paused to look around the room, "I know it sounds silly, what problems could I have i-," Wolfram silenced him.

"Its not silly, hennachoko," he sighed, kissing his forehead. Yuuri blushed, before he would have gotten angry about being called a wimp, but it had grown into a name of affection. Wolfram bound his arms around Yuuri's neck, holding the king's head to his chest tenderly, "if you want to talk about it…,"

Yuuri nodded, it was time that he came clean. He was tired of running away, and as he felt the warm bulge of the life in his husband's belly, he knew this would be the right time. Standing slowly he moved to sit on the couch beside Wolfram, still clutching the man's hand in his. "It was really nothing-"

"Yuuri, if it causes you pain it's not nothing."

Oddly enough the boy smiled at this response, it was his automatic reaction to anything. Always try and look happy, he had trained himself, you don't want to be a burden to others. He realized that he was stalling, but Wolfram was still waiting patiently, knowing not to rush him.

"I was coming home from ba-baseball," he voice broke awkwardly. "It was dark…so I-I thought I would take a sh-," he closed his eyes frustrated, unable to speak. His sobs were beginning to break into every word he tried to say. A gentle hand stroked his back reassuringly. "I-I didn't want them to touch me… I didn't! I just wanted them to disappear…" He managed to choke out those last few words before burying his face into Wolfram's leg.

A pair of crystal tears landed on the ebony crown of his head. Yet Wolfram's tears were a silent mix of love and fury. No one had a right to touch Yuuri, no one. At times he was sure that he himself couldn't touch him, and he was carrying the boy's child. He was sure of one thing; he would get revenge for his beloved's pain.

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Conrad noticed that Wolfram was oddly distracted when he announced that Yuuri wasn't feeling well and was staying at the hotel to rest for the day. The announcement in itself was strange, he had seen his godson just the day before and he was fine. Now he wanted to know what was going on.

But before he could confront his younger brother about it, Ken got in the way, "is he going to be alright for Christmas tomorrow."

Wolfram smiled reassuringly, yet it seemed somewhat forced, "as long as this 'Christmas' everyone is talking about isn't to invigorating, the hennachoko should be fine."

Luckily for Conrad, Ken wasn't satisfied, "what exactly is wrong with him?"

"He's just tired, I told you."

"You're the one whose pregnant, not him-," he automatically covered his mouth, but it was too late. Ken had now officially made public the news of baby. Wolfram just glared his rage boundless as he longed to lunge at the big-mouthed sage.

"Wolfram, you're what!" This may have been the longest sentence Gwendal had uttered since they arrived on Earth. But it was obvious that his elder brothers were not pleased.

"I'm pregnant, okay? It took Ken saying it for you to notice. How can you be so blind? Did you think that I was just getting fat?" He began to ramble, attempting to take some of the guilt off of himself.

"Wolfram, calm down, we're not mad…," Conrad sighed, holding his hands up innocently, "but why didn't you tell us?"

The boy stayed silent. Yuuri had wanted to be there when they told his brothers and now he had to fend for himself. Why had they kept it a secret? Although it sounded idiotic, he supposed it was partly for the excitement. To finally have a secret all their own had been…fun. "We weren't ready to tell you."

"What were you afraid of?"

"I…I don't know…" It was now clear that there had never been anything to fear. He was the queen now, after all, it was only right for him to bear Yuuri a child. Hopefully a son to become the heir.

"You're going to have to tell his parents," Conrad thought aloud, Wolfram just nodded. Although it was a joyous occasion, in Earth tradition Yuuri was still considered quite young for getting married, let alone starting a family.  
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Back in the hotel that night, the queen had had to explain to his king the events of the day. Yuuri wasn't angry that Wolfram told Conrad and Gwendal, but he was slightly disappointed that he hadn't been there. In all honesty he was still working to overcome his painful memories. Yet, as with any other situation, he kept up a brave face and tried to make his husband smile. "You really asked them if they thought you were fat?"

Wolfram blushed, "shut up, hennachoko, you weren't there!"

"No…, but now I wish that I had!" He laughed, and it sounded so wonderful. Then once he had calmed himself he spoke again, "I guess I should thank Ken. He saved me from having a cardiac arrest."

But Wolfram was distracted and didn't really respond. "Neh, Yuuri, do you think I'm fat?"

At this Yuuri burst into such a fit of hilarity that he fell off the bed, rolling with laughter. It was so typical of Wolfram to worry about his appearance. His companion was not amused and stood there pouting until Yuuri had regained himself; he sighed, at least Yuuri was able to laugh at all.

It was then that the king then became oddly serious, "Wolf, I think you're beautiful."


	5. Chapter 5: Staying Afloat

Help Me Find My Wings

By,

Rune Wolfe

Disclaimer: I own none of Kyou Kara Maou;

Note: please forgive me for not updating for so long, things have been chaotic lately. Anyway, finally we get to the Christmas party. (by the way, I just posted a fiction/fantasy story on titled: Awtry Handell, if you are interested. It is slash.)

Chapter 5: Staying Afloat

Yuuri chuckled softly as he watched Wolfram fuss over what he was going to wear to the Christmas party. Of course… it wouldn't be a big party, but even so a queen must always make a statement, or at least look respectable for the moment when said queen would announce to Yuuri's parents that they were going to have a baby.

In the mean time, the king aforementioned, had slinked his way up to his wife and was cradling him delicately while swaying back and forth; he wanted to have a little fun of his own. Wolfram dropped the jacket in his hands as Yuuri's fingers found their way beneath his shirt. Trying to subdue his instincts and wriggle out of his husband's grasp, the blonde moaned. "Yuuri… I just got dressed…we'll never get there if things like this keep happening. It took long enough for me to take a shower with you fondling me!"

The king imitated his queen's pout, "I was not _fondling_ you, just worshipping your beauty as a dutiful husband should."

Wolfram snorted and mumbled, "Vulgar lout," however in no way did his words hold any true offense. With that, now being free, he knelt and picked up his jacket, checking to see if it was wrinkled.

"If you need to pick a new outfit…," Yuuri whispered sensually into his ear whilst gently massaging the man's shoulder-blades, "I could _help_…."

Wolfram shrugged him off, "too bad for you I don't. The jacket looks fine and it's not going to get any more wrinkled for the time being."

"It could be arranged…." Yuuri had relocated his lips at the nape of Wolfram's neck, nipping at his sensitive spot. He tried to grab the article of clothing while his husband wasn't looking, but to no avail. His wife spun around to dodge his hands only to have the two of them land on the mattress. Yuuri smiled inwardly at his success as his lips made contact with Wolfram's tepid skin.

"Yuuri we really have to get going," Wolfram groaned as Yuuri immediately began unbuttoning his shirt and licking his warm skin. Finally he gave up. "Fine, Yuuri, but make this quick."

"You say that as if this is unpleasant."

"It will be if you don't finish soon."

"Alright, alright."

Much love and passion followed.

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Conrad, Ken, and Gwendal sat anxiously on the couch in the Shibuya home. They were far too impatient for the royal couple to arrive, because it was then that the fun would begin. Meanwhile, Greta, Gunter, Cheri, and Anissina who had arrived that morning, bustled around the room, helping Jennifer with whatever had to be done. Wolfram's older brothers eyed the excitement warily, they couldn't wait for the others to find out about the king and queen's naughty little secret. Not that it was naughty…but still, nothing this exciting had happened since their wedding.

Ken spoke first, "what is taking them so long?"

Gwendal rolled his eyes in response, crossing his arms across his chest, "to be honest… I don't want to think about it."

Conrad just smiled his usual 'life's perfect' smile, "I wouldn't be so fast to judge. Besides, alone time is good for them and the ba-," and hand to his mouth cut him off.

An annoyed sage glared at him, "don't say it!"

Gwendal forced out a single rough laugh, "says the one who blabbed it to everybody yesterday."

The boy grinned, "That was an _accident. _However I believe the look on Wolfram's face was worth it though."

Just then Greta darted past, "they're here! They're here!" The trio stood and looked to see a satisfied Yuuri and a somewhat weary looking Wolfram with a limp enter the room. At that moment the queen looked very much at peace with the world. Conrad laughed at their inability to keep their hands off of one another.

"Yuuri!" Greta catapulted himself into her father's arms, slightly swinging about his neck causing the boy to become very unbalanced.

"Greta, merry Christmas!" The king grinned moving away from his wife towards the couch. Then realizing that Wolfram hadn't followed, he beckoned his mate to join them. The blonde just eyed him suspiciously.

"Is it safe? You're not planning to traumatize our daughter now are you?"

Yuuri gave him a disappointed look, one that Wolfram found hard to resist. Weakly he indulged his king's wishes and took a seat beside his family. They sang songs and laughed along with their daughter until Yuuri's mother announced that dinner was on the table.

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As they gathered around the table, Wolfram couldn't help but notice Conrad and Gwendal watching him expectantly. They were waiting for him to make the wrong move, like vultures. Wolfram shot them a cold look and returned to putting food on Yuuri's plate as any good wife would although the boy insisted that he could do it himself.

But, once again, Ken was not so patient. "So…what's new with the royal family?"

Yuuri left the question for Wolfram to answer, knowing that the queen could probably spar better with the great sage. The blonde just smiled sincerely and said, "Nothing new, just your regular royal duties."

The boy tried again, "Planning on making this family bigger anytime soon?" Wolfram coughed and nearly choked on the piece of meat he had been chewing. That had been too close to the mark. Yuuri rubbed his back tenderly as the man cleared his throat.

Miko began to stand, concerned, "are you alright Wolfie-chan?" She hadn't seemed to notice Ken's question whatsoever.

"I-I'm fine," Wolfram coughed, shakily sipping the water Greta offered him. He swore that he would kill the damn sage if it was the last thing he ever did.

Luckily, Yuuri noticed, his parents seemed oblivious to Ken's non-subtle hinting. For this he thank the gods but it was also very obvious that this was going to be a _long_ night.


End file.
